Recipe for Fatherhood

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Chef Dad to the Rescue!

Here's the text from the feature story about RFF today in the Santa Barbara News Press...the writer did an excellent job at capturing the essence of why I chose to create the web site:

Chef Dad to the rescue!
STARSHINE ROSHELL, NEWS-PRESS STAFF WRITER
June 15, 2006 12:00 AM

Moms, it turns out, aren't the only ones who can multitask.

On a recent afternoon, brand new dad Nels Henderson chopped onions while his 5-month-old daughter Hannah napped. Then he grated cheese and supervised a sizzling frying pan while she babbled from her bouncy chair.

Finally, as classic jazz bubbled from the stereo, he sat down at the dining room table and ate a scrumptious bowl of black bean chili with his right arm while holding the increasingly fussy infant in his left.

"I'll change your diaper in a minute and then we'll get you to sleep," he said as Hannah arched her back, whimpered and spit out her pacifier. "You're getting tired, huh? I can tell. . . . At least you're not going for my boob."

"When she's really tired," Mr. Henderson explains, "she forgets."

What Hannah forgets is that Mom is at work, leaving Dad in charge at home during the day. It's an increasingly common scenario: Couples rearrange their schedules to maximize their income, minimize day-care expenses and spend as much time as possible with the newest member of the family.

Of course, Dads haven't traditionally been hailed as domestic gods, and Mr. Henderson doesn't claim to be an ace at folding laundry, polishing flatware or picking out curtains.

But he's become quite the crackerjack in the kitchen.

Inspired by the seemingly superhuman efforts of his partner Alexis Schiavo during labor and delivery, Mr. Henderson, 40, decided the least he could do as a stay-at-home dad was provide hot, healthy and budget-conscious meals for Ms. Schiavo every day.

"After being there, and seeing her go through childbirth, I felt like, 'Whoa! I'd better do whatever I can!' I felt like I had to step up," he says. And their first days at home with Hannah only reinforced the notion. "When we came home from the hospital, it was such a shock. Your life has changed so much. The house is dirty and the dishes need to be done . . . I'm just looking for ways that I can support her, and (cooking) is really the best thing a man can do, I think."

Ms. Schiavo, 30, breast-feeds Hannah, waking up with her during the night and pumping extra milk for when she's gone on weekdays, working as both a notary and escrow assistant. It's important she eats enough calories to maintain her milk supply.

But romance is as much a motivator as his partner's nutrition: "I make sure that dinner is timed perfectly for when Hannah goes to sleep," Mr. Henderson says. "How else are we going to have a civilized dinner and keep our relationship together?"

Mr. Henderson has long been comfortable in the kitchen.



"My joke with friends has always been, 'Alexis takes care of the car and I do the cooking,' " says the freelance graphic designer, who worked his way through UCSB delivering room service at the Four Seasons Biltmore and waiting tables at the Paradise Cafe.

But whipping up his signature artichoke dip or chicken fettuccine between rocking, diapering and feeding a newborn proved tougher than he imagined. So Mr. Henderson came up with a method he calls the 10-10-10 plan:

Sticking to recipes that take 30 minutes or less, he sets aside 10 minutes during the day to chop vegetables for dinner.

Later, he steals another 10 minutes -- say while Hannah's in her baby swing -- to measure out other ingredients and throw together a salad to stash in the fridge.

Then, when Alexis comes home and takes Hannah from him, he only needs 10 more minutes to cook and serve the meal.

"It's all about timing for me," says Chef Dad, who often finds himself working on his clients' graphic design projects at midnight, 5 a.m. or when Hannah takes an extra long afternoon nap.

"What I'm good at is I can look in the fridge and go, 'OK, we only have this, this and this,' and figure out something to make with it that would be nutritious and tasty and all that," he says.

After experimenting with quick-fix recipes -- his mom's Fiesta Tamale casserole was a hit, while a Moroccan stew had too many hard-to-find ingredients -- he decided to share his meal-making tips with other new dads. He created a Web site called www.recipeforfatherhood.com, and posted his 30-minute recipes there along with tips for saving time and money.

Guys in the throes of babyhood can learn how to fix baked pork chops, and read about the best time of day to take their kids to the pediatrician. They can print the recipe for bean-and-turkey torta while learning where to buy the best swaddling blanket. They can discover the wonders of hamburger pizza, and learn a trick for getting their coffee ready earlier in the morning.

"Coffee is really important to me," Mr. Henderson says with a chuckle.

He hopes his site will inspire dads to find a few minutes here and there to prepare simple meals, "and that if a man is a little bit scared about being in the kitchen, that he'll say, 'Oh, that looks easy. Let's try it.' "

As Hannah gets older, Mr. Henderson said, he may add recipes that are fun to make with kids. Eventually, he would love to host his own Recipe for Fatherhood show on the Food Network. "That would be awesome, wouldn't it?" he says.

For now, though, it's enough to get hot meals on the table -- even if the dinner dishes have to sit in the sink overnight.

Having a baby is "a complete joy, but sometimes it's hard," he says. "One of the challenges is even doing stuff like getting haircuts."

He likes going to the market after Ms. Schiavo gets home so he can have some time alone.

But there are advantages to packing up his manly-looking diaper bag -- the Diaper Dude -- and taking Hannah with him.

"Women will open the door for you when you have your car seat, and I love it!" he says, laughing.

"They look at you like you're amazing."

He doesn't see what the big deal is -- everyone has to pull their weight when there's new life to be nurtured. And occasionally, Mr. Henderson admits, the best thing he can do for his family is to know his limits.

"Sometimes," he says, when Hannah's hunger, wet diapers and erratic napping conspire to keep him out of the kitchen all day long, "I'll be like, 'Alexis, can you just order a pizza?!' "

Expect to see him and his family out to lunch on Father's Day.

5 Comments:

  • Nels, loved the story and so good to "see" you, if only in the newspaper :-) Glad all is going well and your baby is beautiful! Oh, and mom is pretty cute, too ;-) I'll be sure to check out those recipes! Stop by my company site http://www.marcominteractive.com or my blog, http://belowthefold.typepad.com if you have a moment!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:31 PM  

  • Hi Nels, Really LOVED the story and this site is just great. I/we are so proud of you, Alexis and Hannah too. Lots of friends have called to comment on the story and how lucky we are to have such a sweet "son-in-law" in our lives. Hats off to you all. Love, Grandma Marilynn & Grandpa Errol

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:10 PM  

  • Thanks Gary and Marilynn -- I appreciate the support!

    By Blogger Nels Henderson, at 5:23 PM  

  • Nels,

    My first time here at the site. My wife and I love it!

    My wife loves to shop at Trader Joes. Here's just a teaser of many meals from there that are quick, easy, and yummy.

    Two TJ's skinless, boneless chicken breasts.

    One jar of TJ's many simmer sauces (Cuban Mojito or Thai Green Curry are our favorite).

    One package of TJ's frozen rice.

    One package of TJ's snap peas.

    25 minutes to prepare but only 10 minutes of attention.

    Add desired amount of olive oil to pan large enough to cook the chicken in. Make sure you have a lid for it.

    Brown chicken on both sides on medium to high heat.

    Turn heat down to a low simmer and add simmer sauce and cover.

    Simmer for 25 minutes.

    Destring snap peas and wash.

    Add olive oil and salt to skillet.

    Cook snap peas on medium high heat 7 minutes before chicken is done. We like the peas "al dente" you may want to cook them longer.

    3 minutes before the chicken is done cook rice in microwave.

    That's it! You're ready to eat!

    Thanks for the site Nels - Brian & Gena Robinson

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:55 PM  

  • Your site rocks!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:48 PM  

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